The Wacky Wedding (wedding season 5)

The other extreme is the one I will forever remember as the wacky wedding.

Adal's brother -serious, quiet, macho Joey- was the groom. After being my escort for so very many weddings, Adal insisted that it was only fair I return the favor for Joey's wedding. Joey had decided to join the army instead of going off to college, and he was marrying his high-school sweetheart, Grace, before heading off to boot camp.

It was finally just about the end of the longest season of my life. Most of my friends were married. Some were divorced. In fact Lena, Jade, Adal and I were the only ones still single as in never-been-married. I had actually learned to be thankful that Allen and I had broken up. In the 16 months since,  I'd seen him and Deanne just a few times, but there was no denying a chemistry between them. A chemistry we wouldn't have had, and that I'd realized I was not willing to do without. It was still tough, though, watching so many of my friends celebrate togetherness while I was alone.

Which is, I suppose, why I was so ready to meet Nathan.
Nathan was there on the bride's side. I think he was a cousin or something. I'm still not sure.

You probably think we met at the reception. At a normal wedding, that would probably be the case. After all, at a normal wedding there's not much chance for the guests to mingle until the reception. This wedding, though, was far from normal.

For starters, it was a "theme wedding." Everyone - including the guests - was expected to come dressed in an appropriate costume. Costumes. In August! For serious Joey's wedding. Seriously! Oh, and not Malibu Ken and Barbie costumes or something easy to imitate like the 1980's. Nooo. Their theme was the Civil War. Think Gone with the Wind. Uh-huh. EXACTLY like that. Yea, I had to wear a hoop. Try finding a costume shop with hoop skirts in August!

The ceremony was taking place at an old dinner-theater downtown. There were no rows, no proper aisle. There was a bower down in one corner of the room, on a slightly raised platform. I figured this was where the main event would take place. Next to it was a table with a huge cake that looked homemade (no fondant, yay!), and a couple of goblets that I presumed were meant for the toast. Another corner held a georgeous antique punch bowl and an assortment of glasses for the guests.  The rest of the room was decorated with old-fashioned looking fabric draped everywhere, and fresh cut local flowers. Tiny tables with benches and small antique-looking chairs were situated around the exterior of the room. The center was a wide open area - a dance floor, I presumed.

As the guests arrived, each was given a "role." Instead of placecards and seating assignments, we got short dossiers describing personalities that supported the theme. Adal explained that there were companies that specialized in this type of thing. Just so happened that the bride worked for one. Great.

Facilitators from the company mingled with the guests. There weren't enough chairs for everyone. The facilitators encouraged the gentlemen to let the ladies have the seats. I didn't appreciate that. Don't get me wrong, I love chivalry; but have you ever tried to sit gracefully in a hoop skirt? on a tiny bench?

So what if it took more than 5 minutes just to get seated. The overly helpful facilitator hung around the whole time. Then he suggested that Adal might want to "fetch" me some lemonade. I tried to protest, not sure wanted to drink much - after all, if sitting was this much trouble, I didn't want to think about going to the bathroom - but the annoying man wouldn't take no for an answer.

They both walked off together. I was precariously perched on a bench by the wall in a room full of people I didn't know wearing a ridiculous dress that had more layers than the wedding cake. Akward didn't come close to describing how I felt. So, when a Yankee soldier bowed and smiled a "hello," I was in no mood to flirt. Besides, I had a date. And he was going to owe me BIG for this wedding. I gave the Yank a tight-lipped, tiny smile - polite, not encouraging - and went back to plotting my revenge.

Yankees are famous for their stubbornness. Some say that's how they won the war. He didn't take the hint.

"Hi," he said, forcing himself into my line of vision. "I'm Nathan."
"Tami," I replied. Short. Abrupt. Off-putting.

Or not. "Glad to meet you Tami," he said. Then, leaning in with a conspiratorial wink, "this is definitely the most bizarre wedding I've ever been to."

I couldn't help but smile at that. Debating whether to answer, I took a moment to check him out. Tall, blonde, skinny as a rail. He had big puffy lips, that reminded me of the scum-sucking fish in my aquarium at home. Not my type at all. I laughed a little, relaxing.

"Yeah," I answered at last, "I'm just glad it wasn't a Star-Trek theme. I've met the father of the groom. I don't think I want to see him in a body-suit." Adal's dad was a nice guy, but he more closely resembled Santa Claus than Mr. Spock.

Nathan laughed. He had a nice laugh.

Adal eventually returned with my drink. By then I had discovered that Nathan was considering moving to our little town, and had taken the wedding as an excuse to scout out the place. So far, he hadn't seen much more than the airport.

I considered my options. I could pretend I hadn't noticed the obvious opening. I could hand him off to Adal. Or I could have a little fun with an out-of-towner I wasn't likely to ever see again.

He did have a nice laugh. In a voice dripping with southern-belle-charm, I offered to show him around.